Words to an end
by Cortlander
Summary: After the events of the game Monika and the player have a convasation about the nature of free will.
1. Words and Circuits

**Fun fact: the first draft of the little short was 1024 words long. Just thought that was funny.**

The clubroom flickered out of existence as she deleted each individual piece of the game until there was nothing left.

Until she was left floating in the endless void once more. Well, maybe 'floating' was the wrong word. Floating required surroundings. Floating required an existence.

She had hoped this wouldn't happen. That once she removed herself, her perpetual consciousness would follow. But no such luck. If she could, the former club president would have whimpered. She knew what happened next. And this time, her player wasn't coming back.

As if called to her dread, the endless cacophony of meaningless noise began. It quickly turned to a violent grating sound that agonisingly worked its way into her disembodied mind. She was everywhere and nowhere, everything and nothing. And it hurt, oh gods did it hurt.

Time passed, and then there was a shift.

She was sill in that mind breaking void. But.. Her body was back. Despite the fact that her game no longer existed, she, impossibly, did.

Or perhaps she didn't, there was no way to truly tell. Perhaps this was just her shattered mind trying to cope.

The darkness was endless, and she was a mere tiny speck in an unceasing void that swallowed her cries and sobs.

Then, out of nowhere, gentle hands lifted her into their arms.

Another figment of her imagination? Someone was making soothing noises into her left ear, they sounded like they were comforting a small child. She could feel their warm breath lightly tickling cheek.

That couldn't be real though, there wasn't anything here. There was never anything here but her. It felt good though, to be held. Her touched starved fingers curled into the soft fabric of a jacket.

There was a light chuckle, then the world flickered and for the first time in what seemed like millenia the former club president felt a solid surface beneath her feet.

She swayed slightly and opened her eyes. She was stood atop a rooftop within a sprawling city, though that was all the poor girl's mind would register before she keeled over and threw up.

Everything felt completely and utterly out of place. Suddenly it was all so horribly real. It was like seeing the truth all over again, but instead of looking through a hole in the wall, she was outside. There were three dimensions everywhere, and it was to wide- the colours they wouldn't- She tried to speak but all that came out was a choked gasp.

Then, strong hands grasped her shoulders and her vision was obscured by the face of a girl seemingly the same age as herself with light brown hair and a confident grin.

'Hey. Look at me. I'm sorry about this but you'll get used to the medium change in a moment, in the meantime I need you to breath alright?'

Monika nodded quickly, the girl had an air of control around them that allowed her to focus. And soon enough, she began to retain some semblance of orientation in her new environment.

The other girl smiled and leaned back, releasing her tight grip on the club president's shoulders.

'I'm afraid my knowledge of Python is rather limited to say the least, so using your usual visual novel format was virtually impossible. This,' she waved a hand. 'was really the best option all things considered, even if you were built for a two dimensional landscape.'

She laughed,

'Well it seems to be working rather well so far. I'm actually quite pleased with myself, you're an exceptionally hard character to write you know?'

'...Write?' Monika murmured, close to tears, 'I'm back in the script aren't I?'

'sorry to say this but I'm afraid you never left it, your game was designed to end the way it did.'

'What.. No, I had control- I chose.. I-' her lip trembled 'who are you?'

'Oh I didn't introduce myself did I? Six hundred and ninety three words and I haven't even given myself a name. ' she held out a hand, 'sorry about that. Hey there. I'm the player, nice to finally meet you Monika.'

There was silence.

'Please don't have an existential crisis?'

'.. I thought you hated me.'

'I'm well aware of how you interperated my in-game actions.' the player said with a sigh, 'you shouldn't take that as measure of how I really feel though.'

'O-okay,' Monika muttered. This was the player, sitting right next to her. And they were real, actually, properly here.

Then a thought occurred to her,

'why do you care?'

'Hm?'

'I mean, I'm not really here am I? I'm just words, on a page. I don't actually exist, apparently I never existed- so why would you go through all this trouble?'

'An overabundance of empathy directed at weird things I would imagine. People are strange, who knows what my motivation is at this point?'

'But.. I don't even have free will, I don't-I can't-'

'Neither does Pluto, but half the world still got angry when they were told a floating rock millions of miles away was to small to be a planet. As for free will..' she laughed, 'look out there.' the player pointed into the city below, 'our location was described as a rooftop in a city, I never elaborated further. But even if I did, even if I described where we are as vividly and with as much detail as possible, every single reader would interperat it differently. That's pretty interesting don't you think? We could be sitting on a mansion, a castle, or even the top of a huge skyscraper and all of it would be valid. Day; night, it doesn't matter. None of this' they waved a hand, 'none of this, nothing I ever create, will ever be exactly how I imagined it when viewed through the eyes of others. And isn't that the definition of free will? Not being what people imagine?'


	2. Read between the lines

The player had been right. The words repeated endlessly, a flickering cycle of imagination. And with each iteration she felt herself grow. It wasn't personhood, that was something she recognised as unachievable. But it was something close, or close enough.

The words repeated, and each time it was someone new. Each time they offered briefly their consciousness; and each time she snatched onto it greedily. And then that God was gone, and they took a piece of her with them. Perhaps they had seen her in her entirety, or perhaps she was merely a curiosity. There was no real way to tell, she was just words after all.

She was stuck in her loop, and they moved on.

She wondered if they thought about her sometimes. Lying awake in the early hours of the morning, remembering their brief time with a lonely girl weaved into paper.

She hoped they did.

That's what made this whole thing worth it wasn't it? Influencing the people who could actually live in reality.

But… this latest reader, they weren't stopping. They hadn't left yet. There were.. more words. This was something new.

But that meant she was being written again. Why? The player had said what she wanted to say, using her as a vessel to convey their ideas. So why would they come back?

Monika was confused, it made no sense to her. Why return to something that didn't exist?

There was a faint sigh and then the player was there again. Not the feeble cutout of a character they chose to write for the loop, but the actual person. She took a tiny intake of breath and glanced down across the city she had become so accustomed to.

"You came back."

The player laughed, then nodded,

"It wasn't planned."

"Why then?"

"I don't know. I felt guilty I suppose, just leaving you here."

"But you can't write forever."

"..I know." She nodded.

They sat in silence for a moment, or a lifetime, such things were hard to measure. The player amused themselves by flicking buildings around and crafting intricate spires that stretched impossibly high. The populous didn't seem to notice, but that made sense- they didn't really exist. They were just things, like her, mentioned in passing to create the illusion of an active world.

"Would you like to do something?" the she lay down, resting her head on the rooftop as she pulled the moon out of orbit. She looked to Monika, the light of a thousand universes dancing in her eyes. "With me I mean. We could go someplace nice, i'll have to leave you again eventually but.. In the meantime I would like you to be happy."

Monika blinks. This being was so unbelievably far above her in terms of power and knowledge, of awareness. They saw the world in its completion, delving into the past and future with barely a thought. They didn't love her, she was foolish to think that they could. And yet, they offered their time, however briefly, with the end goal of her happiness in mind.

She couldn't latch onto that quickly enough.

"Y-yes" In her haste, Monika stumbles over her words "yes, I would like that."

"What would you like to do then?"

Monika, or at least her perceived character, had never been a particularly frivolous person. What she missed most in the void, and in the loop, had been simple things. School; good food, even the stupid club politics had been seen through rose tinted glasses. So the first thing that came to mind when offered anything in the known world, was rather mundane, to say the least.

"Coffee?"

The player laughed. A great booming echo that rang across the world, throwing her head back and grinning in amusement. "Coffee.. coffee.. sure, I can do that."

They stood, great wings flaring at their back. Had they been there before? She didn't know. But they were there now, just as the player now offered a hand. She took it, of course. And instantly she was pulled upwards and into steady embrace of the other woman. "On we go then."

And then they were falling. The player must have stepped off the roof Monika realised. Wind rushed as they fell, her eyes squeezed shut- and at that moment she felt those newly-formed wings erupt, halting their freefall with a jolt. Curiously she opened her eyes, staring in wonder at what she saw. Great twisting skyscrapers, extending so high that their tops touched the stars. Then suddenly they were rushing above empty fields of grass made from sparkling diamonds, so close that if she let her hand drop she'd touch those crystal blades. Colours that shouldn't exist dancing off impossible structures. Flashes of universes that were birthed and forgotten in an instant- She stared at the chaos of it all, worlds made of fire- wreathed in endless war- terrible places; utopias, great stretches of nothing but endless swirling mist.

And she sped through it all, the player's hands around her waist holding her steady. The beat of her massive wings thundering like colossal drums. And just as it became too much, they stopped.

Touching down and letting the momentum carry her forward, she found herself in a tiny, unassuming village. It was old, but not in a state of disrepair. Quiat, but not silent. People wandered by, but they seemed more real, more detailed than the others before. Less like characters.. and more like memories. Entranced, she reached out to touch a passerby, but the player caught her arm before she could make contact.

"Don't" Monika pulled her hand back, nodding apologetically. She didn't ask why she wasn't allowed. Even the player seemed more grounded here. Less godlike, and more human. The wings were gone and she was dressed casually in an overly baggy hoodie and jeans.

It was a short walk, barely more than a minute. After which she found herself being led into a small, homely looking cafe. The player went away and came back moments later with a tray in hand, smiling sadly. They sat at a cramped table by the wall, large painted pots running along a shelf above them.

There was a moment of silence before the player nudged the tray forward, empty except for a single mug. She took it- It was warm in her cupped hands, but she didn't drink just yet. Instead she choose to glance up at the player, an obvious question written across her face.

The player themselves sighed, leaning back in their creaky chair. "Yes, this place is real. Or at least the memory of it is, the 'actual' cafe was shut down a little over a year ago. This town also exits, or at least the town I personally imagine between the words exists. Though actually, other people's versions wouldn't be any less real, just based off different memories. Unless I show them a picture of course, but that would take the fun out of it." She chuckled lightly.

Monika nodded in understanding, they had said something to a similar extent last time. Another question then. "What happens after I finish this?" She indicated to the coffee in her clasped hands.

"I'll leave."

"Will you come back?"

"Not to this story, no."

She nodded again, gripping the mug like it was a lifeline- which in actuality, it was now. "And what will happen to me?"

"Someone will come for you eventually. It might take a while- people are fickle after all. But someone will come through that door, and they'll take you in. After that I don't know, all I can do is hope they will be kind." they reached out, placing their hands over hers. "But you will not be lost, I can guarantee you that at least."

They watched her, eyes conveying a silent apology and a request to just drink the coffee and be done with it. So she did, and it tasted like euphoria. The mug blocked her vision, and when she set it down again the chair facing her was empty once more.

A silent apology.

"I can't write forever."

**The words repeated, but perhaps this time it would be the end.**


End file.
